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By Katie Whysall

Even the ancient cave man used pieces of material to cover and protect his loins while running prehistoric errands. Not much has changed from today, (apart from it being less breezy and hanging loose down there). Ancient Egyptian art shows everyone kitted out in custom made loincloths, even the pharaohs. This, I suppose would make answering nature’s call an easy task. Nowadays, you’d probably get into trouble with the law for indecent exposure.

Next, came the “codpiece”, which was invented. Yes, surely they could have come up with something a bit more manly and less smelly, e.g snakepiece, meatpouch, even just a plain old simple flap would do. The “codpiece” opened at the front using buttons, snaps, or laces and this enabled men to urinate without removing their braies. These early codpieces were practical, but as hemlines rose, they started to take on a decorative function, too. When Henry VIII began to pad his codpiece in the 16th century, all of his loyal subjects followed suit. By ‘pad’ I mean, make bigger. A bit like women do with their chicken fillets, stuffed in their bras.

From Victorian times into the 1930s, men had mostly worn tight-fitting knee-length flannel “drawers” beneath their pants. This concoction sounds neither comfy, nor state of the art. In 1925, Jacob Golomb, the founder of the venerable boxing equipment company Everlast, started to tweak designs for the trunks worn by pugilists. So, Golomb replaced the leather belted trunks with more flexible elastic waistbands, giving a lot more breathing space.

Mens underwear drawers changed forever in 1934 when Arthur Kneibler, an executive and designer at the Wisconsin hosiery company Coopers, Inc., experimented with, a new kind of snug, legless underwear with an overlapping Y-front fly. Known to us, as the tighty whities. Coopers dubbed the new product “Jockey shorts” because the high level of support the garment offered was reminiscent of jockstraps.

Coopers took its first batch of Jockey briefs to Chicago’s landmark department store Marshall Fields on January 19, 1935. The entire load of 600 pairs of Jockeys sold out on the first day. Within three months, the company sold 30,000 pairs of Jockey shorts. Coopers kept making and marketing its wildly successful underwear, and in 1971 the company changed its name to Jockey.

Calvin Klein revolutionised boxers for the first time and designer underwear became all the rage in the 1970s and 80s. Bronx-born Klein started his company in 1968. Legend has it that a buyer from the now-defunct high-end department store Bonwit Teller accidentally stumbled into his workroom in 1969 after getting off on the wrong floor; within a week, Calvin Klein had his first $50,000 order. It’s one of the most recognized fashion brands in the world and with more than Five billion in annual sales.

So guys, I know what you’re thinking of doing. . .

Would I be right in thinking you’re going to make your own custom made loincloths just for a laugh?

Yes. . .I thought so.